New Words for Bad Drivers

 

A collection of useful terms for drivers and driving and a short list of common myths about driving.

 

 

We have all seen them. Now we have words for them. No longer will a lack of useful terminology be a barrier to describing exactly what kind of rotten driver you encountered this morning on your way to work.

 

Sometimes you only need to observe another driver for a moment to figure out what kind of bad moves they are about to make. As a former professional driver who has driven across the country many times, I have found that expecting the other person to be a bad driver is the best approach to predicting and surviving in traffic.

 

If you know -- or have invented -- any terms that should be on this page but aren’t, please email me (Gwen Foss, Alan’s Used Books) and I will add them. Notes: Terms coined by me are marked “gf.” Definitions are based on US road laws where traffic keeps to the right.

 

 

< B >

 

blinkbat. driver who has his turn signal on and doesn’t know it. A commonly observed problem among drivers with a slight hearing loss.

 

 

< C >

 

combateer. driver of any ridiculously large passenger vehicle. Such vehicles not only impart a false sense of security to the driver but they drastically impede the visibility of everyone else on the road. Term based on the fact that Hummers, which are perhaps the most ridiculously large passenger cars currently on the road, were designed for use in combat zones. gf

 

crawler. driver who slowly inches her vehicle forward while stopped at a red light. Some crawlers move constantly; others only start crawling when they think the light is about to turn green. Sometimes crawlers cause a hazard when they end up halfway into the intersection. Other times they cause rearward drivers to assume the light is green; the rearward drivers then start accelerating and cause a hazard when they suddenly have to stop again. gf

 

cruising lane. on a roadway with three or more lanes in one direction, the cruising lane is third from the right. Grannies and kathies generally avoid the third lane out of fear. gf. See hierarchy of lanes.

 

 

< D >

 

defensive driver. general term for a driver who is calm, observant, courteous, does not impede traffic flow out of undue caution or fright, and does not engage in aggressive tactics such as speeding, tailgating, or weaving in and out of traffic. In other words, a good driver.

 

 

< E >

 

egotist. driver who behaves as if the entire world revolves around him. Egotists typically hog the road, drive too slow in the passing lane, jam up parking lots by waiting for a parked vehicle to leave rather than park a little further from the store, and appear to be blissfully unaware of the road hazards they cause and the angry drivers they leave in their wake. gf

 

encroacher. general term for a driver whose vehicle is partially in the road space of other vehicles or in a pedestrian area. See liner.

 

 

< F >

 

fast lane. general term for any lane in which traffic is moving, or should move, briskly. Fast lanes should be on the left.

 

filaral (fill-AR-ull). from the initials of “first in line at red light,” to filaral is to lane-hop while approaching a yellow or red light for the sole purpose of getting into an unoccupied lane so that when the light turns green you can floor it. gf

 

filaraller (fill-AR-ull-ur). driver who changes lanes while approaching a yellow or red light solely for the purpose of getting out of a lane with a stopped vehicle in it and getting into an open lane so they are “first in line” and can roar off as soon as the light turns green. Derived from initials of “first in line at red light.” When observing a lane hopper, maverick, or weaver in action, one may assume he will filaral at every chance. gf

 

flasher. driver who does not fully or correctly operate her turn signal but merely makes the turn signal light flash once or twice before turning or changing lanes. gf

 

forward vehicle. the closest vehicle in front of a particular vehicle, in the same lane. Safe driving consists in large part in maintaining a safe distance between you and your forward vehicle. gf See gluer, kisser, tailgater.

 

 

< G >

 

gawker / gaper / rubberneck. driver who slows down or stops in order to stare at any unimportant sight -- such as a vehicle pulled over by the police, a building going up, or someone walking their dog -- and thereby becomes a hazard to traffic.

 

gluer. type of tailgater who maintains the same extremely close distance whether going slow, fast, or stopped at a light. So called because he appears to be “glued” to his forward vehicle. gf

 

granny. 1. driver who drives at half the speed limit or goes so slow she is a hazard to traffic. 2. driver too timid or frightened to turn his vehicle, or to back out of a parking space, or to make any other maneuver without excessive slowing, halting, and checking for hazards. 3. driver who stays in the granny lane no matter what is going on around her.

 

granny lane. on a multilane roadway, the granny lane is the right-hand lane. The slowest traffic should be found in this lane. gf. See hierarchy of lanes.

 

 

< H >

 

hierarchy of lanes. a group of terms used to describe the lanes on a multilane roadway based on how drivers typically behave in them. They are, from slow to fast: A, granny lane. B, kathy lane. C, cruising lane. D, hotrod lane. E, insane lane. Note: These names apply only to standard traffic lanes, not acceleration or deceleration lanes. For a roadway with more than five lanes in the same direction, there may be, for example, two cruising lanes, or a granny lane and five hotrod lanes, and so forth. gf

 

hotrod lane. on a roadway with four or more lanes in one direction, the hotrod lane is the fourth lane from the right. So called because drivers in this lane usually act like they are trying to win a race. gf. See hierarchy of lanes.

 

 

< I >

 

i-wack. bad driver who uses a cell phone while driving. Derived from initials of “idiot with a car and a cell phone.” gf

 

i-want. bad driver in an oversized vehicle. Derived from initials of “idiot with a tank” and related to the phrase “I want the whole road.” gf

 

insane lane. on a roadway with several lanes in one direction, the insane lane is the lane furthest to the left. This lane is typically occupied almost exclusively by the most reckless and insane drivers. When a granny drives in the insane lane, expect a pile up. gf. See hierarchy of lanes.

 

invisible car. car difficult to see for any reason: driving without lights in overcast or rainy weather, or driving without lights at dusk or dawn, or having a pale or silver car at pretty much any time. gf

 

 

< J >

 

jump lanes. general name for acceleration and deceleration lanes -- short lanes near corners and turn-points -- so called because they are frequently used by jumpers. gf.

 

jumper. driver who, when traffic is backed up in the regular lane, gets into another lane (often an out-of-bounds lane) and “jumps” ahead of cars in the regular lane. When done at speed, jumping is a dangerous technique usually performed by reckless and aggressive drivers. gf

 

 

< K >

 

kathy. a type of timid driver who “doesn’t trust” the right-hand lane on a multilane roadway and drives at least one lane over from the right. Kathies can become hazards because they sometimes force faster traffic to pass them on the right. gf

 

kathy lane. on a roadway with two or more lanes in one direction, the kathy lane is the second lane from the right. While grannies drive on the right, kathies drive one lane from the right to avoid imagined hazards on the right. (If the roadway has only two lanes in one direction, the kathy lane is also the passing lane, Depending on current behavior of drivers in the lane, the kathy lane may also be a cruising lane, hotrod lane, or insane lane.) gf. See hierarchy of lanes.

 

kisser. a tailgater whose vehicle is so close to its forward vehicle that the two vehicles appear to be kissing bumpers. gf

 

 

< L >

 

lane-hop. to change lanes aggressively, usually without signalling or checking for hazards. An old term.

 

lane hopper. general term for any driver who changes lanes frequently and aggressively. The opposite is a lane lover. See maverick, weaver.

 

lane lover. general term for any driver who doggedly stays in one lane no matter what is going on around her. The opposite is a lane hopper.

 

lead-foot. driver who habitually exceeds the speed limit and accelerates whenever and as much and as fast as possible. An old term.

 

left-lane bandit. driver who habitually drives in the left-hand lane on a multilane roadway; in other words, a lane-lover who loves staying on the left. gf

 

Lexus lane. carpool lane that may be driven solo for a fee. A slang term based on the name of a luxury car.

 

liner. a type of encroacher whose vehicle is almost continuously within (six inches) 10 centimeters of one of the lane markings. Most liners are observed hovering on or near the left-hand line -- either the centerline or a lane line -- but occasionally they are seen favoring the right. gf

 

 

< M >

 

maverick. general term for a highly aggressive driver: mavericks almost continuously speed, tailgate, lane-hop, sweep-turn, and drive too close to other vehicles when changing lanes. gf

 

 

< N >

 

nathan. a driver who is incompetent in making left turns. Nathans typically begin turning far too soon, thus entering the road space of any crosstraffic turning right. This mistake at the beginning of their turn necessitates them correcting for their bad trajectory at the end of their turn, rather than executing a graceful arc as a competent driver should. They also tend to correct poorly and cut through the road space of crosstraffic turning left. Finally, they tend to sweep turn and go partly into the far lane or onto the shoulder before making their final correction. Defensive drivers have to give a nathan plenty of room when a nathan is making a turn. gf

 

 

 

now-signaler. driver who operates his turn signal only at the moment he begins to turn, or halfway through the turn, or only when completing the turn, thus sparing himself the danger of getting a ticket for failure to use a turn signal while imparting no useful information to his fellow drivers. gf

 

 

< P >

 

pacer. 1. one who has pledged to drive at or below the speed limit in order to safely slow down other vehicles on the road. 2. driver who matches the speed of another vehicle on the road. Some pacers unconsciously copy the speed of the vehicle in the lane beside them, which, if it continues more than a few seconds, can be highly dangerous. 3. driver who is so scared of traffic that he drives behind and matches the speed of the slowest truck he can find so that he doesn’t feel guilty about being the slowest car on the road. gf

 

palmer. driver who palms the wheel; in other words, one who steers with one hand on the wheel, with the palm of the hand being the only part in contact with the wheel. A highly unsafe but common technique. gf

 

passing lane. 1. short lane constructed around a common turn-point for vehicles to safely pass a stopped or turning vehicle. 2. general term for any left-hand lane on a multilane roadway. Traffic safety laws generally require slow vehicles to stay to the right and use the left lane only for passing. A dangerous situation develops when a granny, kathy, or other timid driver continuously stays in the passing lane; when this happens the driver in question is a left-lane bandit.

 

pick-a-lane. one who, on a multilane road, drives in both lanes at once, or frequently wanders over the line between lanes. So called because his bad driving causes every other driver within range to shout, “Pick a lane!” gf

 

 

< R >

 

rationalizer. bad driver who blames others for her own faults.

 

road hog. driver who drives all over the road. Example: one who occupies the center of an unpainted roadway and does not leave enough room for oncoming traffic. An old term.

 

rubberneck. term used in New York for a gawker.

 

 

< S >

 

scooper. a reckless driver who has an excessively wide or large vehicle. So called because, when seen in the rearview mirror of the forward vehicle, it appears as if the bad driver is trying to “scoop up” the car in front of it. gf

 

sgwipe. carcass of a dead animal run over in the road. gf. (I coined this word in 1978, years before I ever heard the now common term “road kill,” and besides, English needs a word that begins sgw-.)

 

show-off. driver who is intentionally reckless and proud of it.

 

slow lane. general term for any lane in which traffic moves at or below the speed limit or haltingly. Slow lanes should be on the right.

 

smucked. to be made the victim of the bad driving of someone in another vehicle. Term refers to being struck, cut off, run off the road, or otherwise endangered.

 

speeder. one who exceeds the speed limit. The term is usually reserved for drivers who habitually and recklessly drive too fast.

 

Sunday driver. one who travels slowly and lazily; a driver more interested in looking at the sights than driving courteously. A term dating back to the earliest days of motorized vehicles.

 

sweep turn. a turn in which the vehicle, when entering the target roadway, sweeps across one or more lanes of traffic, usually without checking or signaling, and enters one of the further lanes. This all-too-common maneuver is both dangerous and illegal.

 

sweeper. driver who executes a sweep turn. Some sweepers habitually take the furthest possible lane after their turn because they believe that’s how they’re “supposed” to do it. gf

 

 

< T >

 

tailgater. one who follows too closely behind the forward vehicle. A very old, very common term.

 

telegrapher. driver who flips on her turn signal way too soon. The turn signal should go on about (a hundred feet) 30 meters before the turn. When you flip it on a half mile before your turn, no one else can tell where you plan to turn, and other drivers may even assume you’re a blinkbat. gf

 

timid driver. 1. one who drives too slow for traffic, thus causing a hazard. 2. one who is afraid of traffic, thus tending to overreact to all perceived potential hazards.

 

twister. driver who, when stopped in an intersection and waiting to make a left turn, turns the wheel into the turn before he is ready to turn. This is dangerous because any movement of the car, such as if struck from the rear, will put it straight into oncoming traffic. gf

 

two-pedaler. one who drives with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake, a highly dangerous technique that also tends to wear out the brake pads. One can identify a two-pedaler by the fact that the brake light is frequently but not continually lit and that the vehicle sometimes accelerates while the brake light is on.

 

 

< V >

 

velocitization. the process by which a driver becomes used to driving at a high speed, which causes difficulty in slowing down when he changes to a roadway with a lower speed limit.

 

vigilante. driver who normally drives safely and intelligently, but on occasion, when confronted with certain types of bad or aggressive drivers, will attempt to intervene or to educate the bad driver in a seemingly innocent fashion. Example: slamming on the brakes while being tailgated. gf

 

 

< W >

 

weaver. general term for driver who habitually “weaves” in and out of traffic in order to be the fastest car on the road. Weavers typically plan their routes to avoid single-lane roads. The most aggressive weavers are mavericks.

 

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Top Ten Myths about Driving

 

1. If the light is green, I can go. False! Green does not mean go, it means go if it is safe. You are responsible for safety, not a traffic light. Even if your light is green, you must yield to pedestrians or vehicles in the intersection, and you must absolutely yield to any traffic that is barreling toward the intersection and showing no sign of slowing down.

 

2. The yellow light means I have to speed up to make it through the intersection. False! The yellow light means this: if you can stop safely, then you must stop. It is never correct to speed up to make it through an intersection. If you have to speed up, then you probably could have stopped safely. If you cannot stop safely, it is perfectly legal to continue through the intersection, at a steady rate of speed, even if the light turns red before you are through.

 

3. I can always drive as fast as the posted speed limit. False! Posted speed limits are only legal when conditions are at the most favorable. Adverse weather (snow, ice, fog), construction, heavy traffic, railroad crossings, etc., must always be taken into account. Posted speed limits mean you may go this fast only if all other conditions are most favorable.

 

4. I should never make eye contact with other drivers. False! Eye contact and courtesy go hand in hand.

 

5. I don’t have to pull over when an emergency vehicle is going down the street. False! You are required to pull over as far as you can safely, and stop. The only exception is on a divided highway where there is a clearly marked divide (raised or indented) between you and the emergency vehicle

 

6. Driving along slowly is always the safest way to drive. False! Not only can driving too slowly cause an unnecessary hazard, but it is actually illegal to travel so slowly that you are impeding traffic.

 

7. It is okay to drive in the left-hand lane on a two-, three-, or four-lane divided highway (expressway) when I’m not passing a slower vehicle. False! The left-hand lane is for passing; if you are going slower than other vehicles you should stay in the right-hand lane.

 

8. I should drive with the left side of my vehicle as close as possible to the left side of my lane. Or: It doesn’t matter whether I keep my vehicle centered in my lane. Both False! Being centered in your lane is the only responsible way to drive. Driving too far to either side is a hazard to other vehicles. And if you have to swerve over to the left before you turn right, or vice versa, then you are not a competent driver.

 

9. I don’t need to use my turn signals unless there is a vehicle near mine. False! Turn signals should always be used when you are preparing to change lanes or make a turn. If you are preparing to change lanes, you should activate your turn signal first, then start looking for an opening, then, when it is safe, change lanes. You should not deactivate your signal until you have fully completed your turn or until you have fully completed changing lanes and have centered yourself in your lane.

 

10. I’m not tailgating unless my car is within ten feet of the car ahead. False! Whether you are tailgating depends based on your speed, your following distance, and the conditions of the road.

 

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Content provided by Gwen Foss, Alan's Used Books, a.k.a. Book Doctor Gwen, proud member of TomFolio.com where over 300 independent dealers of used book and ephemera offer a pleasant shopping alternative to the corporate sites.

 

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