Dumb Questions Too Often Asked in Used Book Stores

Compiled during hellacious years working in an open shop. No, really, used bookstore owners love their ditzy customers!

Do you have some books?

Do you sell paperbacks?

Do you have that book? You know, by that guy? You know, he wrote that other book?

Are all these books for sale?

Do you sell used books?

How do I get a library card?

Have you read all of these?

Where did you get all these books?

Do you have videos?

What books have you got?

All these books are on the computer, right?

Can I use your restroom?

Can I use your phone?

Are your bookshelves for sale?

Can you do better on this price?

What’s your oldest book?

I got a book that’s about 25 years old. I don’t remember the title. Would you like to buy it?

I have books that smell like cat and the library won’t take them. Do you want them?

How are the books priced?

Is this a lie-berry?

Can I borrow this? I just want to photocopy one part.

Do you rent books?

Can I take this now and pay you later?

I would buy something but I don’t read.

Do you sell stationery?

What time is it?

Are you open?

Isn’t this a used book? Why is it so expensive?

Do you have any Bibles in the original English version?

What kind of books do you sell?

How’s business?

You can’t make much selling used books, can you?

Sincerely yours, from the cheerful, patient dealers at TomFolio.com.