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Page history last edited by Gwen Foss 15 years, 5 months ago

Clap Books



(New material added, February, 2009.)


This form of joke, with a fake book title and a fake author that combine to form a bad pun, has been around since I was little. As far as I know, it has never had a name. So, in 1983, when I started writing these things down, I coined the term clap book. Derivation is partly from chap book, an old term literally meaning cheap book, and partly from the clap, a slang term relating to something, shall we say, very embarrassing.


No, these are not real books!


(A collection of clap books previously appeared in the scholarly journal Maledicta, which I admittedly contributed to.)


Most clap books are outright filthy but here are some that are pretty tame:



Antlers in the Trees, by Hoo Goost the Moose


Indoor Snow, by Dan Druff


My Twenty-five Years in the Orchestra, by Tu Ning


Solomon and his Ten Hundred Wives, by R. U. Kidding


The Big Book of Word Puzzles, by Anna Graham


Scientific Analysis of the Erection, by Harry Pointer


The Hundred Mile Sprinter, by Shirley Aiken


The Great Cabbage Fart Panic of 1850, by Wyndam Gaseous


1001 Ways to Kiss, by Sharon Lips


Rock and Roll During the Vietnam Years, by Eva Destruction


The Rise and Fall of George W. Bush, by Warren Terra


A Bizarre Case of Cannibalism, by Severn Ladds and Lore Whattheyate


The Best Moonshiner in the World, by Al Coholic


How Prozac Saved my Life, by I. O. Dee


Secrets of Television Advertising, by Cleo Vidge


Everything I Learned in College, by Ada B.


101 Ways to Leave the Army, by D. N. Liszt


Positive Thinking, by Corinne Ann Barrett


Off the Cliff, by Eileen Toofar


The Blonde Leading the Blonde, by O. U. Ditz


I Hate the Sun, by Gladys Knight


Blood on the Gas Station Floor, by Who Pumped Ethyl


Prison Security, by Barb Dwyer


The Open Kimono, by Seymour Hairs


Wasted to the Max, by Iona Syringe


The Great American Pie-Eating Contest, by Willie Make-It and Betty Won't, with an afterword by Buddy Duzz


Russian Roulette, by Hugo First


The Heartbreak of Psoriasis, by Dr. Ivan Offelich


How I Won the Marathon, by Randy Holeway


The Nine-Year Engagement, by Cantaloupe O. Honeydew


When the Lion Attacked, by Claude Yarmoff


The Smelly Pizza, by Anne Chovies


Take this Job and Shove It, by Ike Witt


Biker Mama, by Helen Wheels


Fish Food, by Too Na


Two Weeks in the Saddle, by Major Assburn


How to Write a Big Big Book, by Warren Peace


The Devil Made Me Do It, by B. L. Zebub


The Sure Road to Hell, by Cardinal Sin


Rescued from the Racetrack, by Amah Whippet


The Great German Bank Robbery, by Hans Zupp


Terror in the Shower, by Harry Bott


Rid Yourself of Doubt . . . or Should You, by Ida Know




Content provided by Gwen Foss, Alan's Used Books, proud member of TomFolio.com where over 300 independent dealers of used books and ephemera offer a pleasant shopping alternative to the corporate sites.



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