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The Care and Use of Books (from Modern Book Collecting)

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 9 months ago
HOW TO ENSURE YOUR BOOKS NEVER BECOME COLLECTIBLE
  • TIGHT PACKING ON SHELVES: An excellent method for tearing covers when removing, especially at the head of the backstrip.
  • LOOSE PACKING ON SHELVES: A quick cover-warping process.
  • OPENING A NEW BOOK VIOLENTLY: A back-breaking exercise.
  • LAYING FACE DOWN AND WITH OTHER BOOKS PILED ON TOP: A way to keep the book open even when you want it closed (pop-open) or separated in the center (bow-legged).
  • USING THE BOOK TO ELEVATE INFANT CHAIR: Provides a painful overall strain. And, depending on the age of the toddler, overall stains as well.
  • FOLDING CORNER AS MARKER (aka dog-ears): Consider this paper torture.
  • USING PAPER CLIP AS MARKER: A good method for embossing pages. Be sure to use a rusty one if you want to add color to the embossing.
  • USING A RUBBER BAND AS A MARKER: To ensure sulfur-rot residue will collect between the pages as it dries out and pops.
  • TURNING PAGES VIOLENTLY OR RIFFLING PAGES: A sure way to create folds, wrinkles and/or tears to pages. Not the best example of book art.
  • PLACING ON ROUGH AND SHARP-EDGED SHELVES: See a lot of books described as having edgewear? This method of shelving books will do it.
  • PLACING LIGHTED CIGARETTE ON BOOK: Certainly the best argument for quitting smoking I've seen. Who needs this type of decorative cover?
  • EATING AND CRUMB DROPPING WHILE READING: Invite vermin to dinner as well, using the book as the main course.
  • USING AS SERVING TRAY OR COASTER: Another method of creating decorations to the book.
  • LEAVING OUTSIDE IN HOT SUN: Colors too bright in the first place? Boards too straight? This will surely fade the colors and warp the boards for you.
  • USING BOOKS AS WEIGHTS: As long as the item being weighted down is the exact same size, go for it! If it's smaller than the book, look for the resulting cover marks that will mirror the object's shape.
  • USING BOOKS TO KEEP DOORS AJAR: Oh, go ahead and use two of them. Glue them together and decoupage them. I'm sure Martha will approve.
  • CUTTING ILLUSTRATIONS FROM BOOKS: Lent any books out and never got them back? Borrow from your borrower, cut out the illustrations and give it back. Ah, revenge is sweet!
  • VILIFYING AUTHOR IN MARGINAL NOTES: Don't be a coward! Sign your name...be courageous while you're being insulting.
  • UNDERLINING SENTENCES: The best way to decorate every page...especially on signed first editions!
  • USE BOOKPLATES: That way you'll know your friends will return your book. Unless you're the author.
  • WRITE YOUR NAME IN IT: Rules out re-gifting. Unless you're the author.
  • WRITE AN INSCRIPTION TO SOMEONE IN IT: Also rules out re-gifting. Unless you're the author.

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